I am sitting at home right now with a sick kid who is driving me nutty. I started thinking, I really need to work harder to keep him healthy in order to not have to deal with this anymore. I am giving you my top 5 reasons why you should do this too.
1. you can't give your little ones medicine that is not prescribed until they are at least 4 according to most of them, therefore there is little relief for them.
Real meaning: there is definitely no relief for you.
2. Spurts of lethargy and then energy
Real meaning: clean up huge messes while they rest, get huge headache during energy bursts
3. Bodily Fluids
Really dirty diapers, SNOT, vomit,
4. uncontrollable crying
you really need to stop crying you will upset your child.
5. poor miserable baby
seriously disregard everything else and think do you really want to see your child sick
I would appreciate a rebuttal that would give me a guaranteed way to keep my little guy healthy all year round, any takers.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
I want a hippopotamus for christmas
I know it is asking alot, but I deserve it. I have always dreamed big and things never happend for me, and although I said dreams can come true, but not for me. I decided it was my fault. Your dreams don't just happen, you have to work for them. Setting goals a goal is a dream you work for. Many people know that I have recently started selling Mary Kay, (eyes roll here), go ahead, I have never in my life met a group of women who showed me such unconditional love and support and expect nothing. I have learned so many life lessons while starting my business, it is amazing. I can tell you I know for sure that every failure that you come to will boost you up to your next win. You get out of it what you put in. You have to work for your dreams. Inch by inch it's cinch yard by yard it's hard or mile by mile it's a trial which ever you prefer.
I know it is cliche but it is true. I feel for once in my life I can succeed, but I also feel good about myself. That feeling is priceless.
Why I love my new job? Well I am allowed to say "no" to my "job" and be with my family when I need to. I can put God first. I get to be with women and make them feel wonderful. There is no other joy than making someone else feel great with a huge smile, even if it is just for a minute.
I would do it for nothing, if I had the resources. My dream that I am working toward for the Year 2010 is to earn enough money to quit working outside the home 100% and pay for my husband to go back to school, which is something he really wants, before Dec 15th. Sounds like a dream bigger than an elephant, but even an elephant can be eaten one bite at a time
I know it is cliche but it is true. I feel for once in my life I can succeed, but I also feel good about myself. That feeling is priceless.
Why I love my new job? Well I am allowed to say "no" to my "job" and be with my family when I need to. I can put God first. I get to be with women and make them feel wonderful. There is no other joy than making someone else feel great with a huge smile, even if it is just for a minute.
I would do it for nothing, if I had the resources. My dream that I am working toward for the Year 2010 is to earn enough money to quit working outside the home 100% and pay for my husband to go back to school, which is something he really wants, before Dec 15th. Sounds like a dream bigger than an elephant, but even an elephant can be eaten one bite at a time
Friday, September 11, 2009
whatever
I seriously need boundries, I let everyone dictate to me how to do things. I look like a flake because I don't know how to say no to anyone. Even when I assert myself people just act as if they know I will break and I usally do. I end up letting someone down somewhere. Usually the people I care about.
I need to put my family first, my husband and son, but I need to put my job first because that is what helps my family to survive. It is all so hard to balance.
I am not a fan of the women's movement, I believe that a woman can do everything a man can, but does that mean they should. Women are the nurturers, they should be able to take care of their families needs at home. Making sure that the family is loved and they are physically and emotionally fed. Keeping the nest. The men are supplyers, They are put here to guide the family and provide for the family, keep it stable when female hormones are going nuts. Men as a rule don't think with emotions, which in life is sometimes needed. When they emotions are needed is when a woman can whisper in a mans ear and change his mind.
Women should be able to stay home with and for their family's and take care of them if she wants. When the womens movement was such a success women lost the right to properly care for their families. If that is progress, I poo poo on progress. When you jump on a bandwagon ladies think of this you may have the right to be an auto mechanic, but while you are wrenching away, think about the people you actually pay to love your children for you. They are getting all the joy from your children and you get them in the evening maybe for dinner and bedtime. You miss their magic. Progress.
I don't know how I went from bounderies to this, but oh well you know I my mind works
I need to put my family first, my husband and son, but I need to put my job first because that is what helps my family to survive. It is all so hard to balance.
I am not a fan of the women's movement, I believe that a woman can do everything a man can, but does that mean they should. Women are the nurturers, they should be able to take care of their families needs at home. Making sure that the family is loved and they are physically and emotionally fed. Keeping the nest. The men are supplyers, They are put here to guide the family and provide for the family, keep it stable when female hormones are going nuts. Men as a rule don't think with emotions, which in life is sometimes needed. When they emotions are needed is when a woman can whisper in a mans ear and change his mind.
Women should be able to stay home with and for their family's and take care of them if she wants. When the womens movement was such a success women lost the right to properly care for their families. If that is progress, I poo poo on progress. When you jump on a bandwagon ladies think of this you may have the right to be an auto mechanic, but while you are wrenching away, think about the people you actually pay to love your children for you. They are getting all the joy from your children and you get them in the evening maybe for dinner and bedtime. You miss their magic. Progress.
I don't know how I went from bounderies to this, but oh well you know I my mind works
Thursday, September 10, 2009
on a lighter note
I am really finding something very cathartic about blogging. I love it!!! I don't care if you like my blog, I just like blogging. It makes me happy. It heals me.
The name of my blog...
I am a big girl, ok I am obese. But it is what it is. I have to shop at big girls stores. Lane Bryan was my favorite, then they came out with the Right Fit Jean, I am short and buying jeans is tough anyway, but the Right Fit Jean makes it impossible for me. They no longer sell any other type of Jean so I hate them and never go back. It has been almost two years. Then Fashion Butt I mean Bug, they also have the right fit jean, but they have other jeans so were cool. Well, we were. The bright minds at Fashion Slug have decided to rearrange the store, yes lets mix the big girls with the average and little girls clothes. As if shopping wasn't hard enough for women, it is 10 times more emotional and difficult for big girls, and now make them wade through close they will never fit in in hopes of finding something that will fit them. Ok, I left in tears no clothes. I will no longer shop there. I have ripped my work pants, where do I buy clothes? Ahhh!
So there, now you know.
The name of my blog...
I am a big girl, ok I am obese. But it is what it is. I have to shop at big girls stores. Lane Bryan was my favorite, then they came out with the Right Fit Jean, I am short and buying jeans is tough anyway, but the Right Fit Jean makes it impossible for me. They no longer sell any other type of Jean so I hate them and never go back. It has been almost two years. Then Fashion Butt I mean Bug, they also have the right fit jean, but they have other jeans so were cool. Well, we were. The bright minds at Fashion Slug have decided to rearrange the store, yes lets mix the big girls with the average and little girls clothes. As if shopping wasn't hard enough for women, it is 10 times more emotional and difficult for big girls, and now make them wade through close they will never fit in in hopes of finding something that will fit them. Ok, I left in tears no clothes. I will no longer shop there. I have ripped my work pants, where do I buy clothes? Ahhh!
So there, now you know.
I am putting an end to you
Dear (you know who you are),
You may not know or even care how you have effected my life, I am going to educate you. I was a child, not an adult, not even a teenager, I was a child. I had no choice but to let you in my life, I surely did put up a fight though. Did I have reason, no, just an intuition. As most children I did want to be loved and since we were sharing space, I wanted you to love me. I let you into my heart and actually loved you, not as a father, but close enough. After a while, I actually thought you were cool, you were a musician, you had great taste in music (well at least in the mind of an 8 year old). You really pulled me in, What's worse, you had my mom snowed, head over heels blind.
You were put in a position that you should have never been allowed to be in, well actually two. Who ever decided to make you a teacher was a moron, you were not qualified, and definatly not the right person to put in that position. Whether or not you were married to my mother you should never have been given the right to play the father roll in our home. We had a father and you were definatly not him. You did not earn the right to pretend to be him. You being put in these positions was only a small part your fault, where you hold fault is how you handled these posistions.
Somewhere you decided to fancy yourself a dietician of sorts and decided to use food as punishment, you also refused it in normal quantities. Again I was eight years old, but non the less a developing young lady. I was getting assets that most girls don't get till later in life and to be fair was also a chunky little girl, but I was happy. I wasn't being fed too much really or given the wrong foods, but I also was not told no too often either. You come along and just refuse everything. I had and still have hormonal problems that effected weight that had nothing to do with food.
Lets get off that subject for a minute though, I will get back to that. My mom is a good place to start, my mom was a very lonely person just looking for love, overwhelmed with caring for three young girls, and you preyed on her like a vulture. You treated her well at first, but then we had to witness you mistreat her on a regular basis. You ridiculed her, you humiliated her, abused her mentally, emotionally, and physically, whats worse it you caused her to be isolated in aspects from her family. That was really our only vision of marriage. That was our model for what a marriage was suppose to be. Great job! I will say this at this point, I don't know that you will read this,but my mother just recently found out that I have been looking for you, she doesn't want me to even think about you much less do this. I do know you have been trying to contact her. Leave her alone, you have done your damage, walk a way, leave her alone. She may not tell you this, but this will be one point of continuous contention with me. Leave her alone! No matter how I feel about you, what happens in my life, whatever, i will not ever allow you to hurt my mother anymore. Seriously, consider this a threat, call the police if you must, I am warning you. leave her alone.
Now back to me, You may not know this, but I have and have had learning disabilities, not major, but I have always had issues in school. I was spanked by you several times for asking my mom for help on my homework, you didn't want her to help me because you two were watching tv together. She was willing, but you wouldn't allow her. When I cried out of frustraition you spanked me, you didn't just spank me, but you lifted my skirt, pulled down my underwear and bare assed spanked me with a belt. Did I mention I was 8 years old.
Since we have touched on Diet and school lets put them together. As school didn't offer a lunch we brought our own. Dry Tuna 5 crackers and an apple. Healthy, yes, taste, no. Kids are kids and they trade lunches like colds. Can you believe someone would actually want to trade with me, but they did, I traded 1 half of my apple for a half of a ding dong. You caught me, and pulled me aside. Grabbed me by the arm and dragged me aside, and humiliated me infront of the whole school, then grounded me for 5 weeks. I couldn't have been more than 9, and I was grounded for 5 weeks, wow.
I mentioned my hormone issues, while living with you, I lost weight, I actually got down to an unhealthy weight, did I mention I was developing. My metabolism shot craps, and my bodies development was slowed. I have had so many problems in my life due to this. Serious medical problems, I am not saying that it was all your fault, you just made a major contribution. I not only really suffer twice a year with female hormonal issues, I have had a couple surgeries, and something called pcos, and my doctors have said that proper diet during my development, would have prevented some of this. Starvation of any type would have only make things worse. I have had 4 miscarrages because of these issues. Thank you for that.
Just so you know, these are not the only examples of how you hurt me, there is many many many more, but I know if I did some of these things to someone, and then it was put in my face, I might hate myself and want to die. I don't want you to feel that way. I do want you to feel remorse though. I can't make you feel that, but I hope that you would
I hear you lost your son recently, for that I am truely sorry. I really am, I liked Chris. If you havn't you might want to apologize to Nicky though, you treated her like shit. I remember well, I always wondered why you never saw them when you married my mom, did you just abandon them?
I remember my life with you so vividly, and it has effected my whole life. I have said that I would dance the day I heard you died. I have said that I hated you and I wanted to be the one to put the steak through your heart. It stops today.
I forgive you. You don't even have to be sorry, you have to deal with yourself. I forgive you. I release you from the hold you have had on my life, I am done with you. I forgive you.
I am married to an imperfect man who loves me more than I can tell you, we don't have a perfect life, but we truely care for each other. We have adopted the most wonderful little boy in the world, and he knows now and will always know we love him no matter what he does or looks like.
You can go on with your life and now I can go on with mine. I forgive you.
Sincerly,
Suzanne Michelle Ring Koelling
You may not know or even care how you have effected my life, I am going to educate you. I was a child, not an adult, not even a teenager, I was a child. I had no choice but to let you in my life, I surely did put up a fight though. Did I have reason, no, just an intuition. As most children I did want to be loved and since we were sharing space, I wanted you to love me. I let you into my heart and actually loved you, not as a father, but close enough. After a while, I actually thought you were cool, you were a musician, you had great taste in music (well at least in the mind of an 8 year old). You really pulled me in, What's worse, you had my mom snowed, head over heels blind.
You were put in a position that you should have never been allowed to be in, well actually two. Who ever decided to make you a teacher was a moron, you were not qualified, and definatly not the right person to put in that position. Whether or not you were married to my mother you should never have been given the right to play the father roll in our home. We had a father and you were definatly not him. You did not earn the right to pretend to be him. You being put in these positions was only a small part your fault, where you hold fault is how you handled these posistions.
Somewhere you decided to fancy yourself a dietician of sorts and decided to use food as punishment, you also refused it in normal quantities. Again I was eight years old, but non the less a developing young lady. I was getting assets that most girls don't get till later in life and to be fair was also a chunky little girl, but I was happy. I wasn't being fed too much really or given the wrong foods, but I also was not told no too often either. You come along and just refuse everything. I had and still have hormonal problems that effected weight that had nothing to do with food.
Lets get off that subject for a minute though, I will get back to that. My mom is a good place to start, my mom was a very lonely person just looking for love, overwhelmed with caring for three young girls, and you preyed on her like a vulture. You treated her well at first, but then we had to witness you mistreat her on a regular basis. You ridiculed her, you humiliated her, abused her mentally, emotionally, and physically, whats worse it you caused her to be isolated in aspects from her family. That was really our only vision of marriage. That was our model for what a marriage was suppose to be. Great job! I will say this at this point, I don't know that you will read this,but my mother just recently found out that I have been looking for you, she doesn't want me to even think about you much less do this. I do know you have been trying to contact her. Leave her alone, you have done your damage, walk a way, leave her alone. She may not tell you this, but this will be one point of continuous contention with me. Leave her alone! No matter how I feel about you, what happens in my life, whatever, i will not ever allow you to hurt my mother anymore. Seriously, consider this a threat, call the police if you must, I am warning you. leave her alone.
Now back to me, You may not know this, but I have and have had learning disabilities, not major, but I have always had issues in school. I was spanked by you several times for asking my mom for help on my homework, you didn't want her to help me because you two were watching tv together. She was willing, but you wouldn't allow her. When I cried out of frustraition you spanked me, you didn't just spank me, but you lifted my skirt, pulled down my underwear and bare assed spanked me with a belt. Did I mention I was 8 years old.
Since we have touched on Diet and school lets put them together. As school didn't offer a lunch we brought our own. Dry Tuna 5 crackers and an apple. Healthy, yes, taste, no. Kids are kids and they trade lunches like colds. Can you believe someone would actually want to trade with me, but they did, I traded 1 half of my apple for a half of a ding dong. You caught me, and pulled me aside. Grabbed me by the arm and dragged me aside, and humiliated me infront of the whole school, then grounded me for 5 weeks. I couldn't have been more than 9, and I was grounded for 5 weeks, wow.
I mentioned my hormone issues, while living with you, I lost weight, I actually got down to an unhealthy weight, did I mention I was developing. My metabolism shot craps, and my bodies development was slowed. I have had so many problems in my life due to this. Serious medical problems, I am not saying that it was all your fault, you just made a major contribution. I not only really suffer twice a year with female hormonal issues, I have had a couple surgeries, and something called pcos, and my doctors have said that proper diet during my development, would have prevented some of this. Starvation of any type would have only make things worse. I have had 4 miscarrages because of these issues. Thank you for that.
Just so you know, these are not the only examples of how you hurt me, there is many many many more, but I know if I did some of these things to someone, and then it was put in my face, I might hate myself and want to die. I don't want you to feel that way. I do want you to feel remorse though. I can't make you feel that, but I hope that you would
I hear you lost your son recently, for that I am truely sorry. I really am, I liked Chris. If you havn't you might want to apologize to Nicky though, you treated her like shit. I remember well, I always wondered why you never saw them when you married my mom, did you just abandon them?
I remember my life with you so vividly, and it has effected my whole life. I have said that I would dance the day I heard you died. I have said that I hated you and I wanted to be the one to put the steak through your heart. It stops today.
I forgive you. You don't even have to be sorry, you have to deal with yourself. I forgive you. I release you from the hold you have had on my life, I am done with you. I forgive you.
I am married to an imperfect man who loves me more than I can tell you, we don't have a perfect life, but we truely care for each other. We have adopted the most wonderful little boy in the world, and he knows now and will always know we love him no matter what he does or looks like.
You can go on with your life and now I can go on with mine. I forgive you.
Sincerly,
Suzanne Michelle Ring Koelling
Saturday, July 25, 2009
wow what is this stuff... random.. I need sleep?
Where to start... it seams as though I have more to say lately than ever. I may not be the best writer, but getting things out seems to be healthy. I am not at all ashamed of my opinions, so why not share. I feel as though people to have always percieved me to be a certain way, that I am not. Some people have me Dead on, and they have no idea how dead on they are.
I turned 32 yesterday, wow, so what. The fact that I feel that way, makes me feel sad. I should be celebrating the fact that I am still here, about where I came from to get to this point. I am not sad about being 32, why should I be? 32 is still young, I am cool with it. I am just sad I don't care that I am progressing in life.
I am rambling!
I as a person am a great person. I love the person that I am, I am imperfect, and that is great. Crazy, yup that is me, funny, and loving too. The other side I can be a royal... well you know I can be that too. I have come to find that people perseive me to be a lazy slob, that just doesn't care. The people who truely know me know that yes I can be lazy, but am generally willing to do what I have to (at this point of my life anyway). I do infact care, I care alot. I just have made choices in my life that are both very healthy and not so healthy. I don't let myself get upset. The phrase "it is what it is" annoys family and friends, but that is how I feel. You do what you can, but ultimately, sometimes you just can't change things, and knowing that gives you peace, why let it burden you. You don't have to like it, but why take it out on others, when you do that, you are taking out on yourself, even more. I do however get tired of being the one who always stays calm and sometimes need someone else to bring me back down. I get crazy, not in a good way, I yell and scream and act like a demon. What's worse, is I also pretend that it doesn't bother me then internalize and it builds and builds, not a pretty place to be.
I have hope though, people will not always like me and the way I deal with things, but that is ok, because I don't like the way they do either.
I turned 32 yesterday, wow, so what. The fact that I feel that way, makes me feel sad. I should be celebrating the fact that I am still here, about where I came from to get to this point. I am not sad about being 32, why should I be? 32 is still young, I am cool with it. I am just sad I don't care that I am progressing in life.
I am rambling!
I as a person am a great person. I love the person that I am, I am imperfect, and that is great. Crazy, yup that is me, funny, and loving too. The other side I can be a royal... well you know I can be that too. I have come to find that people perseive me to be a lazy slob, that just doesn't care. The people who truely know me know that yes I can be lazy, but am generally willing to do what I have to (at this point of my life anyway). I do infact care, I care alot. I just have made choices in my life that are both very healthy and not so healthy. I don't let myself get upset. The phrase "it is what it is" annoys family and friends, but that is how I feel. You do what you can, but ultimately, sometimes you just can't change things, and knowing that gives you peace, why let it burden you. You don't have to like it, but why take it out on others, when you do that, you are taking out on yourself, even more. I do however get tired of being the one who always stays calm and sometimes need someone else to bring me back down. I get crazy, not in a good way, I yell and scream and act like a demon. What's worse, is I also pretend that it doesn't bother me then internalize and it builds and builds, not a pretty place to be.
I have hope though, people will not always like me and the way I deal with things, but that is ok, because I don't like the way they do either.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
