Syrup: The most evil substance

Tuesday, a pretty easy day planned. The only real thing that had to be done before nap was Parents as Teachers and they are due around 10 am.
Timothy dressed and fed by 7:30, breakfast cleaned up and mommy dressed by 8:30, ok we are doing good kid. by 9:30 we had watched Blues Clues, played with our sticker book, and played puzzles. Great Day. I believe it was around 9:35ish when I made the mistake of my lifetime....
I went to the bathroom!!!
I really wasn't there that long, but somehow in the time I was in there long enough. I have called Timmy the Ninja Assassin for a while now because he is the most quiet when he is being destructive, and you seriously never know when it is going to hit.
I come out of the bathroom and was talking to him from the hallway and telling him about the rest of the day while walking thru our very small place. I stopped mid word when I saw it. Mind you he is sitting in front of the TV watching it as if nothing is wrong. I can't believe it. I see a brown liquid on the floor, no big deal he got a soda Dan left on the counter. Then I see the couch, it is covered in it, but wait, it is beaded up, normally that would just soak in. Further inspection: what is this? Brown Mustard? Seriously? Further inspection: Coffee Creamer? Parmesan Cheese? Did he empty my fridge? Ok, I wasn't in the bathroom that long because when I went back to the hallway to count to 10 it was only 9:40.
I have someone on there way to my house right now. Crap!
I quickly grab the mop only to discover that part of the brown mess was malt vinegar, so he literally did use all of my condiments that had been previously opened. Funny enough the Soda I thought he used was still sitting on the counter untouched.
The big brown mess, if you have not guessed, yup, syrup.
I am frantically mopping up the floor trying to make sure that no one gets hurt, I will get the couch next. While mopping, I get to Timothy's bedroom door, and look in, oh yes, it gets worse here. He has covered his bed, his floor and anything but his toys. NO We Wont Destroy Our Own Things, Just What Mom and Dad Care About!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I am cleaning the floor with extremely hot water to get up all the sticky, I stripped Timothy down to a diaper as he was a mess as well, I will get him dressed when I am done, I said to myself. I get a bowl of hot soapy water and a rag and start for the couch, I will have to get his room last. I have completely forgotten about the great start we had, and something else, I know I am forgetting something......Oh yes, Parents as Teachers!!!! She comes to the Door, I am now a mess, on my knees scrubbing the couch, My son is in white trash diaper mode covered in filth. I let her in only because it is 2 degrees outside and immediately explain my morning, so she doesn't think the worst, she laughs. I AM SO GLAD SHE THINKS IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE A COUPLE HOURS LATER, I CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT A SMILE!! Anyway I quickly cleaned him up and got him dressed so she could start with him as I am still scrubbing the couch. while she keeps watching and laughing, about what a "booger" he is. I am really going to have to punch this B&*%h! I finished the couch and they are coloring, so I strip his bed and sweep the Parmesan cheese up and mop his floor. She leaves, I give Timothy lunch and put him down for a nap in my bed, I stayed there until he was asleep and I was sure of it. I don't want the little Ninja to destroy anything else. 4 moppings away my floor is still sticky and my house reeks of vinegar, Hazelnut (coffee creamer), oh yes and the sickly sweet smell of maple that I usually love, but my home stinks! Is this normal behavior for a two year old, and how does he do it so quietly, I mean I didn't hear the fridge open, nothing. All I can say is I can't wait for my husband to come home and for my Mary Kay meeting tonight, I need the time away.